how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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