Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just cropdusted the office
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
