After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize