it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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