So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
