No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
