haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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