hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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