I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
