Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
where does the pee come out of this thing
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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