If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
