her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize