Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
