Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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