dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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