Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
bring money and cleavage
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
