smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
