She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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