He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
