The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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