Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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