So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Where is the hickey?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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