No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do herpes really smell.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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