I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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