I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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