I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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