Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
