chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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