I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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