That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
