it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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