I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
