He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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