she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
