The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
