My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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