I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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