Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
