those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
