I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
