You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
