I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drake has all the answers
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
