Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
