Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
