I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Im part way to drunk.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
