My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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