Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he thought i was a dude.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
