i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
