I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
