Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
