Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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