Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
