that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
