is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
