So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
